Do Not Turn A Blind Eye To Pool Safety!
Think long and hard as to whether you are practicing good pool safety
So, you think you know about pool safety? Think again, because you totally don't.
I mean, I totally know way more than you about pool safety. Like, if me and you were put in separate rooms and asked like 9 questions about pool safety, I would get all nine right and you would get, like, maybe 4 if you were lucky. Don't worry, though, I wasn't always this awesome, and I'm gonna teach you what I know anyway. This way, you'll be so freaking safe when you're at the pool, not even a pack of crazy ninjas can attack you from out behind the bushes!
Look out! The pool safety you need is coming!
Did I scare you? I just wanted to see if you were alert.
That is lesson 1: Always be alert. After all, you never know when someone might jump out at you and try to throw you in the pool or something. Or maybe, if you're already in the pool, someone will try to pull your shorts down. Man, I hate when idiots think they're cool and try to do that to you! But don't worry, once they realize you are an ultimate pool safety master, they're not gonna want to mess with you any more. Oh by the way, in case you're totally stupid, make sure you know how to swim before going near a pool. I didn't even include that as one of my pool safety rules because I figured that anyone who couldn't figure that out on their own was like, totally dumb anyway!
Lesson 2: Don't drown! This is totally one of the most important aspects of pool safety. Like, if you drown you have totally failed at the pool safety course. Make sure, whatever you do, you don't drown, and if you do, don't tell anyone that you learned about pool safety from me because then they're going to think that I'm a total moron when I am so not!
Lesson 3: Don't Swim After You Eat. Let's say you've just had, like, 3 pieces of pizza, four hot dogs and a bag of nachos. What should you do next? Not swim, idiot! Swimming after eating will totally make you puke all over the pool, and you'll probably get kicked out. Especially if it's a public pool. So don't do it, ok?
All material copyright © 2008 Outdoor Safety USA. All rights reserved.
About Us | Contact Us | Site Map | What's New | View as RSS | Related Resources
