Safe Living - With Nunchucks
Outdoor Saftey USA is no match for a totally awesome ninja! Watch me as I slice through this watermelon - slice! Behold as I stab this urinal cake with my saber - stabbbbb! There is no such thing as safe living when ninjas are lurking in the shadows, ready to steal your safety secrets and make off with your women folk - secrets!
The secrets of safe living - by: The Greatest Ninja Ever (TGNE)
I am Tgne, the greatest ninja ever and I hate being safe - safe is so lame! Safe is lame as an Okinawan woodworker. If you want safe living you can move to Wisconsin or Florida - only babies move to Florida! Babies and old people who have no idea how awesome it is to be a ninja, to kill and explode and be rich. I just look at someone and they totally freak out, break their arms off just trying to scamper away from me. Run and hide, babies! Run and hide safety universe, nothing can protect you against ninjas with secrets - dangerous ninjas with a license from the emperor to destroy.
My weaknesses are the only reason you are still breathing
Actually, there is a single path to safe living, and thats through knowing how to piss me off. I HATE water, so throw me in a swimming pool without flotation devices. I also hate angry dogs, and any yard without canine protection is not a home for my lighting-quick reflexes. I like lightning, and you just wait until I can control it and blast your head like a microwave. There is no safe living when I get my hands of lighting or any pieces of sharp metal. No way. Im totally rad. And Im really good looking so your girl friend will fall in love with me the second she sees me huge muscles and ninjaesque features - Im dangerous and a heartbreaker. Hot!
In conclusion, if you really want safe living you have to become a ninja like me, to be my cohort in ninja adventures and to take everyones girlfriend and stab everything that we FIND!
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