Safe
SAFE...Be it!
Ok, the title of this page is safe, and that is because I, Chuck Wagner, am all about teaching vulnerable people like you how to be totally safe from things like ninja attacks and indians! There's no need to walk around feeling un-safe, especially not when you just bought a brand new Camaro and you want to go show it off to your awesome buds! Read this site and learn that if you're not gonna be safe, it's almost the same thing as going straight down to the ninjas' secret lair and saying, "hey idiots, come and get me," because that's what's gonna happen if you don't know the awesome tricks that I can teach you!
Don't be an idiot!
You'd be surprised how many people out there get themselves into danger because they're totally stupid. Like for example, I saw this one guy walking down the street with his shoelaces untied and I said, "man that guy is totally gonna wipeout," and then like 10 seconds later he tripped on his laces and totally took a huge spill! So stupid! He could've just been safe if he had been to Outdoor Safety USA! Or here's another example - I saw this guy walking on the train tracks and I saw him and was like, "man, that guy is gonna get hit by a train, what an idiot!" Then, like nine seconds later, a train came roaring by and nearly chopped off his head! He was lucky that it just scraped him, but that was only because I yelled "hey idiot" right before so that he wouldn't die! Geez, some people are so stupid!
Alright, well I think you get the message by now: If you want to be safe, don't be a complete idiot because that is just dumb!
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