Outdoor Safety USA
Welcome to Outdoor Safety USA. You can feel safe here, but there is danger lurking.
Hi, my name is Chuck Wagner, and I have been the world's awesomest safety expert for like, at least since 1980. That was when a radical group of ninjas tried to attack me and steal my Camaro. Unlike other sissies though, I totally fought back and kicked some major ninja behind. I knew exactly how to do that because I have seen EVERY SINGLE Sylvester Stallone and Jean Claude Van Damme movie, and that INCLUDES Death Force 12, both the edited version and the director's cut. Don't be fooled by my thick mustache though, I mean serious business. I started Outdoor Safety USA so that I could teach other people my awesome tricks, so that if they get attacked by ninjas, they're gonna totally kick butt! Do you have what it takes? Do you think you can be an ultimate safety expert like myself? Let's see it, then.
Ultimate Safety for Ultimate Champions!
At Outdoor Safety USA, I am totally going to whip your sorry ass into shape. You're gonna know all about outdoor safety, and that is totally why I called this website Outdoor Safety USA. This means everything from backyard safety to pool safety to every other type of safety in the world! You're gonna be so tough that not even a pack of wild wolves or indians will be able to stop you. You're gonna know so many awesome safety tricks it's not even gonna be funny. You'll show those ninjas who's the real boss. You'll say, "think again, ninjas," or some other awesome line like that, and then totally go buck-wild and unleash your hidden fury. They're gonna wonder what in the world hit them as they're lying on the ground after being defeated and you're gonna say something totally cool, like "next time, maybe YOU should go to Outdoor Safety USA." They are SO gonna feel like idiots after that! All the hot babes are gonna want you after that. Or if you're already a babe, all the dudes are gonna think you can kick major butt, just like a dude can. Outdoor Safety USA RULES!!
All material copyright © 2006 Outdoor Safety USA. All rights reserved.
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